Life has been pretty interesting for the past two year. I don't even know where to begin.
The broke up with the ex wasn't a pleasant one. Imagine yourself dating a person for quite some time and then all you hope for is that the person you are dating with to be on the same page as you are. Except that at the end of it. He tells you that he couldn't let go of his ex girlfriend whom he broke up with 3 years ago and who is about to get married. And then he just tell it to your face that he just want to call it off. And then he took off just like so leaving you on your own to lick your own wound by the corner of your room. I often laugh at it now saying that back then the whole saga was almost like one of the crazy break up scene you see on Korean drama. And you are so ashamed to tell others that you kept it all to yourself and end up looking like a great big mess.
But over the year long period,I would have to say. That I am very very proud of myself. As cool as you think I am. That broke up made me realized that. I wasn't as independent as I thought I was. I had to start everything from ground zero almost. I had to figure out everything including how to learn to drive. Get myself food. Learn not to think so much and the list goes on. Not sure if I mentioned before but I'm really thankful to have a handful of really amazing friends who really put in effort in helping me. Teaching me how to drive. How to go explore places. And constantly keeping me occupied with activities.
In just within a short period of one year. I now can drive well. Not super well. But good enough to get me from one point to another. Owh and I even had an upgrade, no longer driving the myvi now; bought a new imported car and I'm so proud of myself coz it's a sedan and I'm paying for it myself. I'm no longer afraid of being alone, in fact I enjoyed the ME time that I am getting. By bringing myself to the cinema. Treating myself with a good meal and also taking myself out for a shopping session.
I can only say, I couldn't have gone through all that without God's help. He never fail to send me angels in disguise to come help me when I'm stuck at the junction. A year have passed. You may ask if I'm still upset at him and if I'm feeling very hurt. Well my reply is. I'm not as upset as I was initially as this person no longer matter to me. But because he hurt me before, therefore, I do not want to have anything to do with him. As to do I hate him ? Well not as much. I learn to see that there has to be a reason that God placed him in my life. And the reason could be that God want me to learn to appreciate love and experience hurt at the same time. Well is a chapter that has passed and I do not want to look back.
The hurt won't stop me from loving. I remember seeing a quote that goes like. If someone hurt you. Never stop loving. In fact learn to love harder than ever. Loving him was a choice made by me. And for that. I must be ready to face whatever consequences that comes with it. Someone told me that I felt much hurt compared to him is because I loved him more. Well, whether or not that's the truth I don't know. But that statement sure is comforting. Hahaha. But it takes two hands to clap.
So I gave myself a short time off from all these relationship thing till I met this one person. Whose very unique by nature. But fits all the criteria that I'm looking for in a partner. Taking things slowly. Still learning how make sure that this time I'm doing it right by keeping God the centre of everything. One day at a time. Keep me in prayers.
Owh and recently I bought a bunch of very interesting make up stuff. So I intend to give it a try first before sharing it with you ladies here. There's a list of items that I wish I could get by this year. But looking into the economic condition. These items may just be put on hold for little while. Unless someone is very much generous enough to gift or sponsor me those item haha.
Till my next post. Take care everyone.